Purpose

So, where am I after 4 weeks on leave:

I think I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to go back to work. However I hope I get a week to just...sort my shit out. Ever since the last promotion, I've been feeling a little...lost I guess. Suppose I should take my own advice; it takes 12 months to settle into a role and another 12 to master it. Well, not if you're stuffing envelopes for a living (do people still do that probably not there'd be a machine) but for most jobs I'm guessing.

It's the...essence...of what I'm trying to do that's challenging me now I think. One rung down the ladder and I had a clear and contained mandate. Now I'm one step away from the Decision Makers and I'm meant to have a wider/broader/more strategic vision. Which I'm so ready for, but at the same time, I'm still managing my team to step up and support me. And that's proving to be a challenge. So I'm tactical AND strategic. A lot of juggling, and my head is bouncing from one to the other from one minute to the next.

When you're a strong and determined leader, that communicates a straight forward vision with clarity and  purpose, it's easy to have people believe in what you're trying to achieve and follow. When you're a step away and relying on your managers to rise to the challenge and come with you...

I've just got to take the time to lead. And be clear who I'm leading and where.

My problem is...perfection. So far, my team and  I've won awards and received company-wide recognition for our successes. Now...I have to run the risk of almost certain short term failure to achieve in the long run. "Failure" is a frightening word for me - it just...doesn't come into my world. And, given the current political climate (both internal and external)  I may not have that long run, so there's the gamble.

...I need a mentor. Someone I can bounce these ideas/thoughts/challenges off. Someone in a senior position, dealing with similar company cultures/environments but NOT in my company. Hmmm...

Purpose - from I Done This

This helped this morning. Remember to read this again when you go to work...