Terrors of the Night

Sooooo..we're all sitting quietly watching the TV, disecting the results of "So You Think You Can Dance" (I want them all to win at this stage...I mean geez!) and the next thing, the dogs go absolutely ballistic.

Barking and growling and barking...like, you know that really loud, aggressive "if you were on this side of the fence I'd be having your arm off!" bark.

So, given the time of night (around 10-20p, or so) the entire family launch out of their various seats and go belting down the back stairs.

Now - Oscar has been recently fitted with one of those "correction" collars. And before you ask, NO, it's not a citronella one. It's one of the big assed electric shock ones. And yes it hurts (I zapped myself), but not a lot, and obviously very quickly. It was either that or get rid of him...so. After 2 days of him wearing it - he's stopped barking.

Well obviously not in this case (it has a auto cut off if they bark really quickly, which they only do when there's a serious problem)...so back to the story.

So we all go tearing down the stairs, some of us have had a few to drink, so that part itself was fun...to find the dogs going CRAZY in the front corner of the yard in the bushes in the dark.

Someone yells "There's someone out there, out the front - Diane, go and see who it is"

So I run back around to the front of the house looking everywhere, with Mum in close pursuit.

I then peer around the side of the house where the dogs are barking in the dark, trying to see if I can see what's going on. Next minute I hear "HOLY JEEZUZ, F%$#ING HELL, CHRIST, BLOODY GOD!!" and a whole lot of crashing and banging...

Oh Shit, I think, that was my father - he was bellowing at the top of his lungs, and I thought he'd gone ass up over one of the dogs, in the dark, in the mud. (It's been raining for days now).

Mum and I go racing around the back, through the underneath of the house to the side, desperately hoping to find Dad still standing, and not having injured himself.

Well, apparently what happened, was that Oscar was barking at something, and ended up lying on the ground...so Dad leaned down to check him out, as he thought he'd hurt himself or something...

...only to have a HUGE LIZARD LAUNCH ITSELF AT HIM OUT OF THE DARKNESS HISSING AND SPITTING LIKE A MAD DRAGON FROM HELL!!!

Dad was as white as I've ever seen him - at least we know his heart can take a shock.

And in other news:

Surely there can be no excuse for this horrible story.

This is definitely not the way to get a Not Guilty verdict.

This is not a bad ad.

All for now. Can't upload a photo as the parents and daughter in the in the middle of a WoW instance...which means no band-width stealing..